2006 Mercury Mountaineer
“Nip & Tuck” for the Mountaineer
Boomer: The last Mercury I remember clearly was the Cougar. It was such the rage. I bought a Mustang and my girlfriend Pam bought a Cougar.
X: What are you talking about? We test drove a Mercury Mountaineer not a large cat car from the sixties.
Boomer: Yes, but the Mountaineer is a large SUV that was completely redesigned for the 2006 model year. The Ford Explorer and the Mountaineer underwent the same surgery.
X: So now “Nip and Tuck” can apply to autos as well as your friends. What exactly is the difference in the two siblings for 2006?
Boomer: The Explorer was the best selling SUV from 1990 to 2004. The Mountaineer, which was nearly identical mechanically, was for those that wanted the more exclusive brand and a bit more of an upscale appearance. The new look for 2006 is both inside and out, with added safety features, a better ride and a new engine/transmission combination.
X: Mercury is considered a more upscale brand?
Boomer: Yes. I would compare it to some of Nissan’s and Infinities’ products. So many vehicles are built on the same platform, but the accessories or upgrades give the brand a bit more of a “snob” factor.
X: So the Mountaineer, with its two tone seats, satin silver grille, matching roof rails, brushed aluminum dashboard trim and rear lights decorated with a cage-like trim is the upscale version?
Boomer: Exactly, especially the two tone seats which were covered in black leather with a grayish white suede insert. Honestly, I could see that getting dirty pretty quick.
X: Especially if you eat chocolate in the car on a warm day, it drops in your lap and eventually on to the passenger seat where you so gently slide over it with your butt on the way out the door.
Boomer: Melanie, that was one time last year with a Kit Kat and I haven’t heard the end of it. That’s why I like leather seats.
X: Forget the chocolate; I absolutely loved the third row of seats. The rear two seats were power operated. I just pushed a button and they folded forward and flat and then back up again. The middle row was able to fit three large men with a 60/40 split configuration for my trips back and forth to the airport.
Boomer: What’s with the three large men and airport shuttle stuff? What men, why and where?
X: My old classmates from Cal Lutheran in Thousand Oaks, who were in for the Barrett Jackson and Russo and Steele auctions in Scottsdale. I was helping them with their luggage. Frankie brought his snowboard as well in case Flag had some powder by Friday.
Boomer: Well, excuse me; I guess I was too busy at the nursery picking up geraniums to replace the ones your dog keeps digging up in the flower beds. What is his problem?
X: Probably mad at you for not taking him in the Mountaineer. It sure would have been easy with the power slide out running boards. He could have jumped on them first and then in to the…
Boomer: Off white suede seats?
X: The power slide out running boards was so cool, especially when transporting the grandparents around last week. Their bodies have shrunk to 4’10” so the running board was like a baby step up to the rest of the car. All they kept saying was “I love this truck; I love this big white thing.” I kept telling your mother it was an SUV and she thought I said son of a B…. You are so much like Grandma.
Boomer: Thanks for the DNA update. I have black and blue marks from the running boards on that $42,000, 14 miles per gallon upscale Mountaineer. It looks like someone took a magic marker to my legs and ran it across my shins.
X: Try concentrating when you get in the vehicle. Once you see how it works the first time, then you adjust yourself for the next time you open the doors. Come on, you had to remember that it slid out each time? Maybe not!
Boomer: I do remember the cost of a few of the upscale items on the Mountaineer. The DVD navigation system ($1,995 option), power black and blue shin boards ($695), power adjustable pedals ($225) and rear seat DVD player for the “boys” ($1,295).
X: Mom, they need to make this exact model in a hybrid. This 4.6 liter V-8 engine with 292 horsepower and 300 pounds feet of torque is nice, but with the price of gas? Ford needs to think green. Come on decision makers, think hybrid.
Boomer: Not black and blue but GREEN… good point. However, if you have the extra money for gas and you need to tow something like a boat or medium size trailer, the Mountaineer can help you in that area.
X: The Mercury Mountaineer which we both enjoyed driving is a front engine, all wheel drive, seven passenger utility vehicle. The base for this SUV is $36,000 but the one we tested was $42,000. I think its competition is the Acura MDX, BMWX5, Chevy Trailblazer, Dodge Durango, Ford Explorer, GMC Envoy, Honda Pilot, Jeep Commander, Lexus RX330, Mercedes Benz ML Class and the list goes on.
Boomer: I say test drive them all then make your decision based on lifestyle, cost, economy and brand. However, if you want to wear long pants for a week or so to cover up black and blue marks, I can recommend the SUV for you.
X: Get over it; it’s the only color on your whole white pale body. It looks better than the fake tanning lotion you drip all over your skin. Wear Capri’s you’ll never see it.
Boomer: Thanks for the fashion tip.
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